RaveBlog

Highlights

• Nicole Kidman opens up about the heartbreak of her divorce from Tom Cruise and feeling lonely after winning an Oscar.
• She reveals that she wanted to skip the afterparty and felt uncomfortable carrying her Academy Award.
• The experience made her realize she wanted to find love again, leading to her eventual marriage to Keith Urban.

It’s been over two decades since Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise divorced, but the actress recently gave insight into their highly publicized relationship, particularly how heartbroken it was when their marriage ended following over 10 years together.

The pair finalized their divorce in 2003, which was the same year Kidman won an Oscar for her portrayal of Virginia Wolf in The Hours. Though it should’ve been one of her happiest moments, Nicole recalls going to bed lonely at the end of the night while speaking to author Dave Karger in his new book 50 Oscar Nights, which hits bookshelves on January 23.

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Nicole Was Lonely After Winning An Oscar And Finalizing Her Divorce

“I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well. That’s what happens, right?” Nicole said, mocking the irony of the situation.

Kidman admitted that she wanted to go straight home after the awards show ended. She had to be convinced to attend the afterparty.

“I’m not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party, and everyone was like, ‘You’ve got to go. You’ve got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award,’" Kidman continued. "I said, ‘That just feels like gloating, and it doesn’t feel humble.’ Like, what? You can’t walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate. They’re like, ‘That’s what you do.’"

Nicole went on, “So I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it. I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.”

Unfortunately, the night didn’t get better when she returned to her hotel room. Nicole says eating take-out by herself following the Oscars made her realize she wanted to find love again – Nicole would go on to marry country singer Keith Urban in 2006. They have two teenage daughters.

Nicole Says The Experience Made Her Want To Find Love Again

“I went home and ended up ordering takeout and eating it on the floor of the Beverly Hills Hotel," she explained. "I sat on the floor of the hotel eating French fries and a burger with my family and went to bed. That’s when it hit me. I went, I need to find my love; I need a love in my life. Because this is supposed to be when you go, ‘This is ours.’”

“I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight. If I ever won again, I’m telling you, I’d be out for 24 hours,” she concluded.

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Nicole was married to Tom from 1990 to 2001, though it took a few years to finalize the divorce. The couple shared two kids, a son and daughter they adopted, but Nicole has said they chose to live mainly with their father following the divorce.

There have been rumors that Nicole is estranged from her eldest children, though all parties have denied the allegations. Nevertheless, Kidman has noticeably left her oldest kids out while thanks her husband and their daughters in an acceptance speech, leading to both speculation and criticism.

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